God says: In return and rest you will be saved; quietness and trust will be your strength— but you refused.
– Isaiah 30:15
MAN, I can feel pooped out pretty quickly and easily. When that happens, I usually suck as a human being. (For those of you who run into me on those days, I am sorry).
I don't know why I compulsively try running and anxiety, expecting salvation; words and works, expecting strength. I refuse returning and rest; quietness and trust.
Subconsciously, my disposition is to believe that true returning, rest, quietness, and trust are not enough. There must be more.
When I finally do give myself fully to returning, rest, quietness, and trust, there is very little about it that is lazy. It changes everything. My actions become greater and less self-centered. My joy becomes resilient and pervasive. Returning to these challenging dispositions recenters me.
It is impossible to be self-centered while returning and resting when life and circumstances impose the exact opposite impulses. I am centered on myself and the emotional interpretation of my circumstances whenever returning and resting seems impossible or illogical. When I objectify my self-centeredness and finally do return and rest, my entire being becomes centered on Christ. Then, the experience of salvation is greater than theology and the transformation of strength is more than aggression.
"In return and rest you will be saved; quietness and trust will be your strength."